A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the the operating table. she had a near-death experience.
Seeing God she asked, "Is my time up?"
God said, "No, you have another 40 years, 2 months and 8 days to live".
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and complete make-up.
Since she had so much time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God again, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years. Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"
God replied, "Sorry about that, I just didn't recognise you"!